If you’re getting annoyed at all my whining (or whinging for you British-English speakers), please bear with me as I find complaining, and just about everything else, to be hilarious right now.
So remember when I went crazy and went to webmd at 2am because I thought my foot/leg was going to be amputated?
Well, yesterday I went crazy again and was convinced that I had the plague. I went to webmd and searched on the word “tired” (my most prominent symptom). I came across this fascinating website. I read it from beginning to end, it was the funniest thing I’d ever read for some reason. That man really wanted me to “never be tired again.” For just 50 dollars he was willing to send me his e-book, which held all his secrets.
All that hearty and unexplained laughter really tuckered me out, so then I went home and took a nap.
Then I got back on trusty old webmd to search on some more symptoms. I was informed that I have what the medical community would call “the common cold.” It is called this because of how common it is!!!!!! Did you know that adults have “the common cold” 3-16 times a year?
At this point I had a migraine which I attributed to my illness (and not to my caffeine addiction) and was thusly convinced that I had the flu or mono or something ridiculous that I don’t have. I knew what I had to do – take my temperature.
I had a temperature of 125 degrees!!!!
My stupid Australian thermometer was broken and since I decided I needed to know what my temperature was, I made a trek to my local pharmacy. I drove in silence (as the sound of the radio painfully confronted my poor sensitive ears) and I entered trusty old Walgreens (squinting at the florescent lights which burned at my poor sensitive eyes), and made my way to the temperature taking section.
I bought an appropriately priced thermometer and then proceeded to use it. My temperature was a brisk 97.9.
I guess now I have no excuse to not run 13.1 stupid miles tomorrow.
On a side note, I often use Google’s image search for my blog posts. Pictures really brighten a post up, wouldn’t you say? So I Google imaged “the common cold” just now and this was on the first page:
It’s a stuffed microbe!
I also watched ER last night! John Stamos!!
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