Archive for September, 2007

James W. Marshall

James W. Marshall:  a man whose tragic life was steeped in hilarity.  

Marshall was made famous by his discovery of California gold which sparked the feverishly famous “Gold Rush” of 1849.  Despite his discovery of gold, a substance of great value, he spent his entire life poor as a confused billy goat. 

Apparently he did not care much for gold. 

After his discovery, Marshall was forced from his land by the very gold seekers he’d accidentally invited over and his childhood dreams of maintaining his own sawmill and later his own vineyard never came to pass.  He died penniless. 

This is what you might call “ironic,” and therefore “hilarious.” This is because hilarity is at the very root of irony, you see?

What else would you like to know about James Marshall?  Perhaps you’d like to see his face.  Well, here it is:

Stately and respectable, yet weary from year after year of deferred hope and nightmares about diabetes.


  • His mom’s name was Sarah. 
  • He lived in Missouri for awhile and contracted malaria, a common disease in that area and time – once again proving the unfailing accuracy of The Oregon Trail.

  • There is literally nothing else of interest to say about James W. Marshall

Happy Friday, you guys.


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If this little guy could talk…

…I think he’d be saying “Love Me.”

I cannot resist him!

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Busy Bee

Today, I am what you might call a busy bee.

Isn’t that picture adorable?  Aren’t busy bees adorable?  Did you know that the bee population has decreased?  Is that still true? Did you know that if there are no bees, the world will probably implode within the next two years?  Einstein said so. Did you know that Corey Kranz is the reason that the bee population has decreased?  If he were here, I assure you he would smile smugly in agreement.  He kills bees left and right. He also juiced an apple once with his fist.  I hope Corey does not kill me today.  Because I’ve got a lot of work to do.

Love and hugs,
Christine “Busy Bee” One

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Las estrellas sobre Ogallala

Have you ever been in the middle of something and known without a doubt that you’re living something that you’ll probably never forget for the rest of your life? In the middle of a memory, so to speak?

I was thinking about that this weekend as Ally got married. That she was in the middle of something she’d never forget. I’ve never gotten married, but I’ve experienced this on a smaller scale a few times. Take yesterday, for example. It was 4am and I was driving through Nebraska – just east of Ogallala, I think. It was a clear night, and the sky was aplump with stars. I can think of nothing in creation more magnificent than a sky full of stars, can you? Ben Lee’s Awake is the New Sleep album started playing on my ipod and the appropriateness of the lyrics made me smile.

Leaning forward over the steering wheel, looking up at the stars, sharing the road with no one, window open, with Ben Lee dreamily repeating over the stereo: “Awake is the new sleep. Awake is the new sleep. So wake up.” Perfect, no?

It was pretty simple, but still somehow remarkable. All I could think was “Huh, I think I’m going to remember this forever.” It’s the strangest feeling to be in those moments, don’t you think?

Okay, so it wasn’t a moment of salvation or the exchange of wedding vows. It wasn’t childbirth. But it was unforgettable nonetheless.

Have you ever had a moment like that? Was it a “big” moment or a seemingly insignificant one? Did you know how amazing it was while it was happening or did you only recognize it as fond after it was over?

Maybe I’m too introspective tonight, who knows. Still though. I can’t stop thinking about it, so I figured it was worth a blog entry.

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I went to Colorado this weekend. Let’s get on with things, yes?

  • Number of hours spent in the car from Thursday evening to Sunday: 32
  • Number of miles put on the ‘bu from Thursday to Sunday: 2028
  • Number of hours slept this weekend from Thursday to Sunday: 9 + 3. What’s that? 13? 12?
  • Number of Red Bulls consumed from Thursday to Sunday: 5
  • Number of Double Shot Espressos from Thursday to Sunday: 1
  • Number of Massive Sized Sodas consumed from Thursday to Sunday: 5
  • Number of heart attacks:  0, so far.
  • Number of 20 minute naps taken in parking lots across the states of Iowa and Nebraska: 3
  • Number of times I shampooed my hair in the rest stop sink: 1
  • New favorite snack: ice
  • Number of people who’s new favorite snack is also ice, as a result of this weekend: 2
  • Slope of bridesmaid heights, if in line form: 0
  • Slope of groomsman heights, if in line form: 1
  • Number of people married in Colorado this weekend (whom we were acquainted with): 2

  • Woah. I just stared blankly at the computer screen for about 5 minutes. I’m too tired to keep going that route for this blog entry. It was a GREAT weekend though! I am so happy that Ally finally gets to sign Lautenschlager on receipts and stuff. Also, I suppose I am thankful that they get to be married to each other.

    Pictorial joyousness from the weekend:

    Road-trip ice:

    Ally’s dress and crocs:






    0 and -1 slopes, respectively:


    The rest are here.

    I can’t say it enough: Congratulations, you guys!

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    Tonight I’m making the trek to Colorado. 

    Here’s why:


    Wooooooooooo!!  54 more hours until those guys are married to each other, y’all!

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    Running into Spiderwebs…

    While we’re on the subject of spiders: today I annihilated one of their webs with my face.

    Leave your accolades at home, folks – this is nothing to be congratulatory about.  This was literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me while running.*

    All I did was try to run between two trees, trees that were probably a good four feet from each other.  How was I to know I was going to plant my face in the meticulous handiwork of a Columbia Park spider?  I squealed with discomfort, spent a quarter mile pulling stringy spider substance off my face and doing everything I could to shake that eery “there-is-surely-a-spider-crawling-in-my-hair” feeling.

    Fast Forward to 6 hours later.  I was at Barnes & Noble over lunch when I realized my glasses were a little blurry.  I took them off to clean them when I saw six very light, evenly distributed, streaks laying vertically across my left lens.  At first I thought I’d somehow faintly cracked my lens six times…but then I realized what it was:  Spiderweb.

    AHH!  Creepy!!  I had traces of spiderweb on me for six hours!  Six hours!

    Now that we have that out of the way, how are you?

    *False. While this was certainly unnerving, nothing beats a good dog attack.

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